“You can’t stab me through a phone.”
— Joe, worried about his constructive feeback
“I don’t want to call these guys liars, because if you parse their language, what they say may be technically true. But if you put the whole picture together, the whole thing is bullshit.” —Charlie Gasparino, invoking Bravo Sierra to make a point about the banking heads

“I don’t want to call these guys liars, because if you parse their language, what they say may be technically true. But if you put the whole picture together, the whole thing is bullshit.”

—Charlie Gasparino, invoking Bravo Sierra to make a point about the banking heads


“It’s like the difference between a bruise and internal bleeding.”
— Adam, explaining the difference between a minor and major issue
“Our retention strategy is that no one else is hiring.”
— Adam, during our staff meeting
“If you’re so eager to have your review, we can do it during your exit interview.”
— Adam
“If he dumps you, I’ll be sloppy seconds.”
— Ken, looking for a lunch date
“Nice suit, does that come with a backhand?”
— Adam, regarding a certain CNBC analyst’s sartorial disaster

Those aren’t pillows…

Ned Ryerson?!

“8 is the new 50”
— RG re C
  • Guy to Adam: So I hear you're a government worker now.
  • Adam: Yeah, they're giving government cheese as a bonus this year.

Who needs sleep? That’s when the NIGHTMARES happen.

“You’re going to start off with a Ned Ryerson Hug ending with a “Those aren’t pillows” talk the next morning”
— Adam’s idea for a hot date
“It’s got to be a combination of sophomoric and profane.”
— Ken, on how something makes it to the Adamisms site

Jana’s Family. See also: II, III.