January 2012
1 post
It feels like Groundhog Year.... when referring to...
“I finished the Jaeger and it is not event 9pm. Happy new year?”
December 2011
6 posts
If there is common sense here, you have to be...
“I don’t need to know the back story, just tell me the front story.”
– JS on getting TMI from a colleague
Silver Lining
Ken: Hey, how are you?
Colleague: Same story: underworked and overpaid.
Ken: I know that story…
Colleague: It's the story of this company!
Ken: Well, the good news, then, is that it won't be for 4,500 or so people real soon.
I knew you when…
Colleague: Wow, you keep getting popular, and I'll be able to say, "I knew him when…"
Ken: Yeah, you "knew him when" he worked for this freaking place.
Work is like quicksand. The harder you struggle to...
November 2011
5 posts
We keep shooting ourselves in the foot. Eventually...
This work is headwind on progress.
“Managed to get to and from work today on Wall St without getting punched in the...”
– @kenwalker
Back So Soon
M: Wait, back so soon? I thought you just left.
A: Forgot to leave my suicide note.
“Okay, great. Nobody’s using soap.”
– RG, about operating…elsewhere in the world
October 2011
6 posts
“Too big to succeed!”
“This meeting will involve so much tap-dancing, we should win a Tony award.”
– AL, regarding a big upcoming meeting
Liars
KW: I had an epiphany today.
AL: Oh? What's that?
KW: People are /liars/.
KW: How's everything? Kids good?
AL: *shrugs* Sure.
Willpower
KW: Can I get you anything?
AL: Yeah, a gun and the will to use it.
Arif: Is today any better than yesterday.
Adam: Like a prisoner with a life sentence, no different.
August 2011
2 posts
“If you shelter in place, it helps the cadaver dogs find you later.”
– Adam (of course)
“Go back to sleep, Jerry Maguire.”
– Adam, in response to Ken’s early morning email gushing about the future of AAPL
July 2011
8 posts
“Step 6: KILL YOURSELF”
– KW, regarding that five-step protocol
“Nothing good happens after 8am on a Saturday.”
– RD
“I’ve been diagnosed with psychotic tinitus.”
– AL
Watch that Phone Placement
Scott: If a cell phone is that harmful for you, what's the difference between using your handset or a headset?
Ken: Well, I guess it's the difference between a vasectomy or a lobotomy.
“I don’t want to have a destination funeral.”
– AL
“I want your suicide note to be your Lessons Learned.”
– AL
“♪ They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said, ‘No! I’d rather die...”
– SW on day 1 after Amy Winehouse’s death (WOW)
Ken: What did you think about the meeting with Rudy?
Ark: Not bad, not too many F words.
June 2011
2 posts
“I am out of patience…fortunately for you, I am out of ammo too.”
“Your incentive is that you’re still employed here.”
– Adam, on incentives
May 2011
3 posts
“You’re going to leave that meeting in a body bag.”
– Ken
“This is going to be a terrible weekend.”
– Rory, Friday, the day before his wedding
Vacation Adamism
I’ve been traveling through Europe long enough that I need a translator to understand the voices in my head.
April 2011
1 post
One Day…
Jana: You know, stress is going to kill you one day?
Adam: No, I think it's going to be a gun.
March 2011
1 post
“I don’t want to have a destination funeral.”
– Adam
February 2011
4 posts
“I’ve been diagnosed with psychotic tinitus.”
– AL, about that humming that Just. Never. Stops.
“Now you’ve got me child-proofing your career.”
– AL
“I’m holding my staff…meeting.”
– Your Sack
“So needy. Why are kids so needy?”
– SW
January 2011
3 posts
“I’m putting the “irector” in Director!”
– AL
“I didn’t want your stuff to be my death blow.”
– AL
December 2010
5 posts
“Tonight, I’m going to party like it’s 2012.”
“The only bar open at this hour is my home, and I don’t want to go there!”
I’m trying to be your cup - Adam
“That reporting relationship is like meeting phosphorus and…air.”
– AL
“If I’ve learned anything from you, it’s to do things out of spite,...”
– Rory, to Adam
November 2010
3 posts
Jamaica
Rory: yes, I'm from Jamaica
Marjory: I always wanted to go to Jamaica
Rory: You should go today
Marjory: I wish it wasn't that far
Rory: It isn't. Just take the F train uptown.
Once you dismiss hope, every else runs smooth.
